Recently I've been catching up with a book called secret . As I'd mentioned earlier. It's indeed a good book to read. I realized that every time when I'm upset with something, automatically some other negative thoughts will join in as well, which practically makes my mood even worst . Yes, my mood fluctuates. I refused to admit it but I found that almost everyday I experience ups and downs. Urgh. There are always things I wished I can don't worry about but I can't . It's like the energy that's flowing in me that keeps all this thought going . Though this book teaches people how to think in a brighter side, how to attract good things and feelings. But I just can't adapt it into my life.
Somehow all this were due to the collection of my previous experiences. Whether it's from my family experience, friendships or relationships. Most likely they contributed quite a lot in my feelings collection throughout my life in this 19 years and build the ME of today. Guess I'm not that strong as you guys see. I know I know, life is not always gratifying. I've been telling this to myself millions of times but still I can't apply it. Well, I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just grumbling. More or less I'll feel better if I write out everything. Not everything I can speak out through my mouth as I'm always very weak in expressing out my own feelings.
I know all the things I'm going through now is still the beginning of the first chapter in my life. I've gotta work hard in my studies. That I'd promised myself. I felt so guilty that I've gotta waste so much money of my parents. I'll definitely disappoint them if I were about repeat the same mistake again. I know I've been complaining a lot though I might already got the best that I can get. I'm learning . I'm learning . All I need is time & support. Well I don't need any extra supports. As long as not negative words towards me. I am not those kind of people who will get motivated through harsh words. I consider myself as a bad temper person. Just like what I wrote on my facebook. I stand within the opinions which I think its right. You can don't support me, but just keep the mouth shut will do. That definitely helps a lot.
Guess my mood is once again dropped to the bottom. =/
p/s: Everyone is unique in their own way. It takes time to find them out.
Somehow all this were due to the collection of my previous experiences. Whether it's from my family experience, friendships or relationships. Most likely they contributed quite a lot in my feelings collection throughout my life in this 19 years and build the ME of today. Guess I'm not that strong as you guys see. I know I know, life is not always gratifying. I've been telling this to myself millions of times but still I can't apply it. Well, I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just grumbling. More or less I'll feel better if I write out everything. Not everything I can speak out through my mouth as I'm always very weak in expressing out my own feelings.
I know all the things I'm going through now is still the beginning of the first chapter in my life. I've gotta work hard in my studies. That I'd promised myself. I felt so guilty that I've gotta waste so much money of my parents. I'll definitely disappoint them if I were about repeat the same mistake again. I know I've been complaining a lot though I might already got the best that I can get. I'm learning . I'm learning . All I need is time & support. Well I don't need any extra supports. As long as not negative words towards me. I am not those kind of people who will get motivated through harsh words. I consider myself as a bad temper person. Just like what I wrote on my facebook. I stand within the opinions which I think its right. You can don't support me, but just keep the mouth shut will do. That definitely helps a lot.
Guess my mood is once again dropped to the bottom. =/
p/s: Everyone is unique in their own way. It takes time to find them out.
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